


Magical Child

by Zelinxia



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Gen, Genderqueer Character, Nonbinary Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 14:44:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zelinxia/pseuds/Zelinxia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyouko's advice to think for yourself finally works for Sayaka.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magical Child

“You need to stop putting other’s wants and feelings before yourself.”

You can’t eat, throat too tightened from anxiety. It’s not like you had much appetite in the first place. But your side of the table would have felt too empty if you hadn’t ordered food ( _while on the contrary, Kyouko has ordered a meal fit for at least two people. You don’t mind at all. She agreed to listen to you when you offered to go out to lunch and pay for it all. Maybe she would eat your meal too, seeing she doesn’t like wasting food at all._ ) She’s still paying attention to your body language while slurping noodles loudly, soy sauce splattered around her mouth.

“I can try to, but…” 

You sigh and put down your chopsticks. They crisscross lopsidedly off your tray, but you ignore the imperfection for a moment. There are things you try to say, but fail to. _What if Madoka doesn’t like me anymore? What about Hitomi? What if Kyousuke would never feel the same because I’m not really a girl?_

Kyuoko rolls her eyes and eats a meatball. “It’s ridiculous to think everyone you care for will accept who you are. People and the world can be really cruel about that, so just forget about what others will think for now and think about what _you_ want.”

Her sharp, cynical words are tasteless as always. That isn’t a surprise. But the way she says it also feels reassuring. Kyouko is listening to you and she is trying to mean well. So you reflect.

There are times you feel okay being addressed as a girl, wearing the school uniforms dictated to your assigned sex. Sometimes you look at the mirror and feel completely comfortable at the image staring back at you, smiling cheerfully. But then there’re times you don’t feel it fits you right. So you cut your hair and feet comfortable acting boyish, although ‘boy’ doesn’t fit you perfectly. No matter how hard you try to fit into one or the other, neither feels just right. In art class you learned about color theory and the shades in between. Black and white doesn’t work, but shades of grey feel genuinely closer.

“I’m not a girl,” you finally say.

A shrimp tail dangles from her mouth. “Go on.”

“But I’m not a boy either. And it’s okay to be neither because I’m just me – Miki Sayaka, a magical agent of love and justice.”

Kyouko grins. “Well done, fellow magical child. If you aren’t going to eat your food, let me have at it.”

“Magical child?” you say with a scowl. How dare she insults you again in a condescending tone, and yet…it feels good to hear the girl across from you acknowledge your identity. Kyouko is only one person out of other acquaintances, but it’s okay – for now. Then suddenly, you break into laughter, and the anxiety finally goes away.

She reaches for your tray, but you automatically grab it further away from her. “Leave it,” you say, picking up your chopsticks.

“I’m starving.”


End file.
